Orlando Trip Report

Wednesday

Flight was supposed to leave at 7:45pm, out of the Northwest terminal. Got to the airport early, and decided to have a few drinks at a bar I don’t remember. We go to the gate to board at 7:15ish, and they say the plane is having a problem with the “Reverse thruster” and we will have to wait another hour before they decide what to do. This is worse than an hour delay, as this is an hour and then decide. I wondered what the significance of the reverse thruster was, as we were likely to be flying forward the entire way. Apparently it is a big problem as they determined we would be taking off from a different gate at 9:00pm. We went back to the bar and played two small games of poker. Since none of us had chips, sugar packets had to suffice. Out of the 2 games we played, I won 1 and finished 2nd out of the 3 of us in the other. Profit of $5!!!

On the flight I sat in the middle, it was miserable trying to get my armrest position comfortable, and was a very long 2.5 hours. After waiting to get our bags, and car, we finally got out of the airport. By the time we checked into our condo, it was 1:30am. Too late to go to the bar. Fortunately we picked up beer and played some poker with far more important stakes. With a 3 bedroom condo and 4 of us, 2 people would have to share a room. Since Jim wasn’t coming in til Thursday, he lost by default. The winner would get the big bedroom with a double bed, it’s own bathroom and a TV. We dispatched Greg and Dan and I went headsup. I managed to survive him hitting trips on me twice, and I caught him on a bad bluff when I had trips, and managed to win around 4am. (Golf tees were used for chips) It was time for bed and a 9am tee time.

Thursday

Damn that alarm went off quick. Pretty warm day, 70-75ish, but overcast. The finger I hurt in flag football was somewhat painful, but didn’t affect my game. I played god awful and shot 89. Greg birdied the first hole but that was among his lone highlights. Dan struggled mightily if I remember. The course was Forest Lake (I believe). Tale of two different 9’s…front 9 was links style, back 9 was cut out of the forest. I putted absolutely horrendous (a recurring theme throughout the trip).

After golf we played some tennis. First I played Greg, and since it was only my second time playing this year (and in the last 4 years for that matter) it started ugly, as I went down 2-0. I came back and won that set 6-2. Then I played Dan and waxed him 6-0. After Dan and Greg played, me and Dan played again, and it was a game of runs, I was down 1-0, up 4-1, down 5-4, then won 7-5. At that point we were pretty exhausted and decided to take a nap. I couldn’t really sleep as I was enthralled in “Titanic”, so I was tired when we got ready to go eat and drink.

Dinner was at Longhorn Steakhouse. Got a tasty filet and then it was off to the festivities. We went to Rachel’s, a strip club / bar near the airport. We went there 2 years ago but I didn’t remember much of it. Apparently Orlando is notorius for having terrible titty bars though. The girls were very attractive, but the law requires them to cover their nipples, so they wear tan round band aids over them. How I failed to notice this 2 years ago is beyond me. Other than the band aids their boobs just hang out like any other titty bar. So what is the point of the band aid???? Must be conservative bible thumping law making at it’s finest. Jim got in and we picked him up at the airport and it was back to the titty bar. Stayed til close to 2am, then went back to the condo. Also watched the basketball…amazing comeback by UCLA against Gonzaga.

Friday

Damn that alarm went off quick for another 9am tee time. It was incredibly windy, and a little cooler, probably only 65 or so. Played Stoneybrook, in the middle of a housing development. My putting was again dismal, as was the rest of my game, and I struggled to an 85. I did get my first birdie of the trip, rolling in a long putt on a par 3. Everyone else struggled again on the course, could have been the booze, etc…. On the 2nd hole Jim couldn’t find his sand wedge. He started blaming Northwest, etc….it turns out the group behind us found it on the first tee. I remembered after the fact him chipping around the tee with it while we were waiting, and I even commented on him “chili-dipping” a chip. He had no recollection of this.

After golf, went back and played some doubles. It was me and Jim against Dan and Greg. Jim and I won in 2 pretty close sets, and it was quite a few laughs.

After attempting a short nap, it was off to eat. We all craved seafood, so we first went to Joe’s Crab Shack, longer than an hour wait…next we went to Captain Nemo’s all you can eat buffet, smelled shady and had quite a wait, so we tried a place called Boston Lobster Feast, for a seafood buffet. As far as seafood, I only eat Crab legs, and occasionally lobster, so that’s what I focused on. For $32 you can be sure I was going to get my money’s worth. The food was ok, but a little nauseating having to clean the lobster yourself…fortunately the waitress did mine. After what seemed like a dozen trips to the buffet, we were finally full (and they were shutting down the buffet). After that we went to Universal Studios City Walk, a big group of bars/clubs/etc….first stop was Pat O’Briens…by this point Greg and I were both having major intestinal issues, and in a race to the bathroom he beat me to the only stall. Waiting for him I nearly sharted myself, and finally was able to relieve the pressure. While at the bar, all 4 of us had to visit the restroom multiple times. Needless to say, Boston Lobster Feast would not be a repeat destination. Watched the end of the basketball at Pat O’Briens and in the courtyard, then went to dance club that was a sausage fest, then went to a Cigar/Martini bar, and bought some cigars for the course and home. Following that it was to Margaritaville to close out the night. Pretty good times aside from the crappy seafood.

Saturday

Again the alarm came fast for our 9am tee time. It was chilly and windy, and I was the only one in the group smart enough to wear pants. The course was the worst and easiest of the bunch, I shot 79, with 1 birdie. Everybody played better, but I think it had a lot to do with the course. I did 3 putt a par 5 I hit in 2, and then 4 putt a par 3 that I hit in regulation….all on back to back holes. Jim lost his camera on the course, although based on his incident yesterday, we weren’t sure whether to believe him or not. It still hasn’t turned up, and somebody at the course likely gained a camera. I think Jim is losing his mind, or early Alzheimers is setting in.

After that we went on a snipe hunt trying to find a Sonic Burger joint, or any other place that we can’t get at home (as I generally do with Jack in the Box any time I go out west). The trip was fruitless, so we went to Steak and Shake. Went back to the condo and took a nap through the Texas/Louisville game. For dinner we played it safe and hit Hooters. After Hooters we went to the Boardwalk (lame) where we were accosted by girls on a Bachelorette party. Jim got conned into giving the chick a $1 to suck some beads on her neck. Unfortunately for us, it was all he could talk/think about the rest of the night. We went to House of Blues next at Pleasure Island, and listened to a blues band headed by a 15 year old kid. Incredible guitarist, and pretty good voice too. He tried to sing/portray body language with a little too much soul, but in time he’ll learn substance over style. I was a mess that night as I was dead tired, so I just kinda sat there and watched.

Sunday

Last day of our trip, we moved our tee time back to 11:40, giving us a few more hours of sleep. Packed our stuff in the car and left early for breakfast. I had been craving Waffle House, but they were packed….2 Waffle Houses and 1 IHOP later, we were eating Shoney’s….a real downer to Waffle House.

The course was Shingle Creek, on a resort and conference center which hadn’t opened yet. Very nice course and area. I played terrible, and lost interest on quite a few holes, shooting 89 with 2 birdies. But they did have some pretty good Bloody Mary’s.

For the trip my putting was awful, and the rest of my game wasn’t much better. It was my worst stretch of golf in years, bar none.

After the golf, we got to the airport, ran into Chris Collinsworth, but didn’t get a picture, just said hello. We were welcomed to the airport with a 1.5 hour delay…..perfect, just what I wanted, to get in at 1:30am and have to work at 8am. Jim decided to get a Fantasy baseball magazine, and proceeded to buy a Sports Illustrated. He started reading it and exclaimed “Why is everything in Spanish???” It turns out he bought an SI Latino. The flight was pleasant though, as we got an exit row. I sat in the aisle and had the seat in the middle empty, so I sprawled.

As a wonderful side note to the weekend, I left my car in the street at Dan’s house, and his paper delivery woman backed into it, scratching the back bumper and misshaping it slightly. You know how those Envoy’s like to hide in a blind spot.