Kentucky Derby 2012 trip report

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Thursday saw us leave Michigan around 4pm.  Al by himself in one car, Erik, Dave and Doug in Erik's car, and myself and Jim in my car.  We stopped for a bite at Arby's somewhere in Ohio, picked up Mert in Cincy, and made it to Louisville around 11pm.  After checking into the hotel, this time the Comfort Suites in Louisville on Paramount Parkway - which we got for a song at a rate of $109 per night, they were going for $429 per night online a few days before the trip - we made our way out for what is now the annual trip to Trixies.  

After we got there (minus Al, who apparently fell asleep in his room and missed the festivities), we immediately started on the beer, as well as shooting pool.  The vibe was pretty dead when we got there, and the "dancers" were about the same.  A few girls were trying to get our attention, but they were nasty, and we were more interested in our own thing than what little they had to offer.  At this point Erik discovered the punching bag machine, where your punch strength is measured.  Here is some video of Erik running across the bar to get a head of steam before punching it.  Here is a link in case the embedded video below doesn't work.

Also here is Jim punching said machine.  Here is a link in case the embedded video below doesn't work.

Our group must have put $100+ into that machine at $1 a pop throughout the night, betting more and more money as the night went on.  Finally near the end I decided to give it a go.  I figured I would be one of the weakest ones, but once I saw Dave's piss poor effort, I figured there was no way I could do worse.  It turned out that I had the second highest score of the night, which was much to the chagrin of people who were betting against me.   Unfortunately, I wasn't able to make much on myself for whatever reason.  Theories were abound as to how I was able to get the 2nd highest number, with Dan's theory being that since I am an Engineer, I was able to somehow determine the optimum angle of attack / trajectory.  My theory is that most of the guys are bigger pussies than they think, while I am less of a pussy than they think.

We ended up staying until 3am, which as usual makes Oaks day difficult to handle.  

Friday, May 4, 2012 - Oaks Day

We grabbed the usual parking spots at Charlie and Phil's, had some beers for the road, and made our way to Churchill. The day started off slowly, with a few marginal hits.  Sonny hit a few signers, but he was putting a lot into the races to hit them, so while building a profit, it wasn't as big as it would have seemed.   In the 6th race, 2011 Kentucky Oaks runner Plum Pretty looked very good on paper, but my friend Erin had a theory that she was tired, and was vulnerable.  I have no recollection about how I profited from that race, but I am fairly sure I did, as she ran 3rd behind Juanita and St Johns River.  

Then in the 7th race I got something going with a superfecta that I shared with the Dave and Erik.  I didn't think we had it at first, I think I wheeled on the 21-1 longshot in 1st and 2nd, and she ran 3rd, but then I realized I did have her for 3rd on one ticket, and the longest shot on the board ran 4th.  I had also started a pick 5 ticket with both Dave and Erik on this race, where most of the money was focused on the winner of the 7th race, and singling on Stephanies Kitten in the 8th, who I felt was a standout in that field.  Unfortunately, because I had opened a pick 5 already, I chose not to open any pick 4 tickets, since the combinations were duplicated.  The 8th race went as expected with Stephanies Kitten winning by a comfortable 2 lengths.  The 9th race was a good result, as the 3rd choice, Successful Dan won, which helps the pk5 payout as well.  The 10th race was a difficult race, and my two key horses were the 13 and 14.  Because of my pick 5, I chose not to put money into the race, and was slightly upset to see the race come in 13-10-14, and pay $14K on the superfecta, and $1300 on the trifecta.  But, we were through with the 3rd choice again in the pick 5.  There was also a long weather delay before the 10th race, where they actually evacuated the infield and grandstand, so part of the reason I didn't bet the race was because of uncertainty with (A) whether the race would stay on the turf, and (B) how the track would be playing following the rain. 

The Oaks was closing out the pick 5, and we thought the race was very wide open.  We had 6 possible horses to win, with some really good payoffs on the longshots.  Our hopes were rewarded when Rosie Napravnik brought in Believe You Can at 14-1 to win the Oaks, getting us one of our best results, a payout of $1595 for the .50 cent pick 5.  It was the first pick 5 that I had ever hit.  As I mentioned before, the pick 4 which I had neglected to play and was easy to hit based on my handicapping, as I got it AABA, paid $750 on a .50 cent bet.  

By the conclusion of Oaks Day, most people were doing well, with Sonny up over 1K, myself up about 200.  Al was up, and Dave and Erik weren't doing badly either.  The only person not doing so well was Doug, who was the victim of losing some large win bets on prohibitive favorites.  

After the Oaks, we went to the Mexican restaurant next to the hotel.  Seeing that the following day was Cinco de Mayo, it not only seemed appropriate, it seemed prudent since the following day would likely be very crowded.  I could barely touch my burrito due to the copious amounts of chips and salsa I consumed prior the burrito delivery.  Sonny ordered the "Burrito gigante", which lived up to its name.  We played credit card roulette for the bill, which Doug lost.  Fortunately for Doug, he and Jim bought insurance for each other, so they split the bill.

After the Mexican food, a few of us went out to the Godfather, a place we have been a time or two.  It was me, Jim, Doug, Sonny and Erin who were the troopers.  Not much to add here, as we just had some beers and shot the shit.

Saturday, May 5, 2012 - Derby day

Derby day started out well.  We got to our normal parking place, and Al actually paid for a guy to "shuttle" us to the entrance in a golf cart.  This would save from the inevitable "chaf-age" from walking far in the heat.  Unfortunately, the golf cart couldn't go all the way to the main entrance due to the way pedestrian/vehicle traffic was routed, so it didn't end up saving us much time or effort. 

    

When we got to the track, I kept my betting fairly small for the most part.  Part of the problem was that the races were difficult, part of it was that I wasn't feeling well, and part of it was that I was showing a little bit of discipline, since my horse betting has been pretty bad since last years Derby.  So I apologize to anyone who was counting on any of my handicapping and/or help on the days races.  The sad truth is that I likely wouldn't have been a lot of help. 

It appeared to be a sound decision on my part, as nobody in our group seemed to be doing anything very well, save for Jim, who continued to be mysterious with his betting for the entire weekend.  (He did buy picks from some online source....I doubt they did very well).  For the weekend then I have absolutely no clue how well he did, somewhere between winning a grand and losing 2 grand I would say (I told you he was being mysterious).  

It also didn't seem to be a very prudent idea to put much money into races I had handicapped for 10-20 minutes, in comparison to the Derby which I had spent 10-20 hours handicapping and thinking about.  So I was essentially saving myself for the Derby.  

As expected, we had no shortage of money to put into the Derby superfecta.  Previous years we have put in 1440, 1500ish, 2000ish, and 2400.  This year our team put together 4K to put into the race, and that was with Sonny putting in far less than he had invested in previous years, leaving him only 25% of our tickets.   Knowing it was a tough race, I knew we needed all of the money we could put together.  

Everyone in our team agreed to key Gemologist, which apparently turned out to be very wrong.  But we had difficulty identifying a 2nd horse to key.  I liked Bodemeister a lot, but it didn't make a lot of sense to key on 2 horses who were likely to be near the front of what we expected to be quick early fractions.  After much debate and discussion, we settled on Union Rags, despite the linked article where I basically shit on his chances.  The reason being that even though he wasn't likely good enough to win, he appeared to run a decent race every time, and that race gave him a decent shot at hitting the board.  Plus, he was likely to be off of the hot pace.  Here's how we shaped our tickets, and how the investors shook out.

As we tend to say in horse racing, you can't play em' all, and I'll Have Another was one of the last horses we eliminated from the win portion of the ticket, and I even went as far as to recommend throwing him completely off of the ticket.  My reasoning made sense, in that from the 19 hole I expected him to be very forwardly placed, as that was the running style he had shown in all of his previous races.  Consequently, I expected him to be hung 4-5 wide on the first turn, while tracking a very hot pace.  His jockey, being in his first Kentucky Derby and relatively inexperienced, would not be capable of calming himself down, or his horse, and would burn his energy out very early.  Essentially I'll Have Another got the trip that I was thinking/hoping that Gemologist would get. 

What happened in reality was that I'll Have Another was able to get him into a great position entering the first turn about two spots out from the rail, and in an area where he was almost all by himself, with no traffic around him.  This was the key to the victory in my opinion.  In almost every Derby, the winner finds himself in a great spot on the first turn, and encounters very little traffic the whole way. 

Mike Smith on the other hand, I'm not sure what he was doing all Derby day....first he moves WAY too soon on Amazombie, basically heading Shackleford on the turn.  Shackleford is as game as they come, and you don't want to run neck and neck with him for over 1/4 of a mile, especially when the distance is more of a question for your horse than his.  Then in the Derby, he immediately seizes the lead from the start on Bodemeister, which apparently was the plan of Bob Baffert all along.  This part I have no problem with, but the part I do have a problem with is them blaming Trinniberg for the hot pace.  Trinniberg was up close, but it didn't appear to me that he at any time tried to get the lead from Bodemeister.  Smith just didn't harness enough of his speed to last, and consequently ran through lightening fast fractions, and ran a HUGE race to nearly hold on.  

So as I said before, I take the blame for leaving the winner off of our tickets, but since our key horses both missed the board, it wasn't to be.  I will take the credit for predicting Rags poor run and bad trip in my previous write-up.  It appears Julien Leparoux will lose the mount on him, after failing to follow instructions, and even going as far as suggesting that he heard a pop on Rags on the turn, yet still riding him to a closing 7th place finish.  What's the deal Julien?  If he was hurt, why continue riding him?  Just admit that you gave him yet another bad ride, and that you are afraid of sticking a horse in a tight spot Calvin Borel style.

As an aside, I read an article on the Derby the other day that bears mentioning.  The article basically suggested that unless you have top end speed (like Bodemeister), the outside/auxiliary gate is where you not only want to be, but NEED to be.  This means posts 15-20.  The likelihood of you getting a cleaner trip far outweigh any ground you are going to lose.  This is a point that I definitely already knew, however the top end speed thing is something I hadn't thought of but makes sense.  I will not let drawing an outside post position affect me one iota, unless they are a horse I expect on the lead.  

Basically the entire group got whitewashed on the Derby, save for Erin hitting a small win bet on the winner.  I hit a win bet in one of the last 2 races, but basically ended up down about a grand on Derby day, with basically all of it coming on the Derby itself.  

Following the Derby, we decided to hit the Chinese buffet.  I suggested this was a bad intestinal idea (as Dan will affirm to, since he spent 30+ minutes in the community bathroom in the hotel).  What was another bad idea was the credit card roulette, which saw me losing and footing the $150 bill.  I have probably lost 3 of my last 6 times at CCR, and decided that credit card will be retired from the battle, and I proceeded to use another on at breakfast the next morning.  

After dinner, a few of us (Me, Dave, Erik, Jim, Sonny and Doug) went back to Trixies.  We managed to get Jim  and Dave a nice motorboat, and Sonny broke our groups record at the punching bag machine.  I neglected to try, as I didn't think I could beat Sonny's mark, and also didn't want to hurt my hand anymore than it already did (from an errant shot two nights before).  

The aftermath

Overall a very fun trip, despite ending in financial disappointment for all.  Hopefully I'm able to apply some of the lessons learned from this year's Derby into next years Derby.

My next effort at credit card roulette, using a different credit card at the Waffle House nearby the hotel, was successful, as Erik was the victim. 

Lessons learned

As I mentioned before.  We've seen it countless times.  The auxiliary gate is the place to be.  It's not good, but the inside is "less good".  

For god's sake, when there is a horse with standout speed figures, ala Bodemeister, make that horse one of your key horses. 

Just because you have Pick 5 tickets live, doesn't mean you can't play Pick 4, especially when you have a few strong opinions upcoming.  That decision likely cost me at least $750.

Las Vegas trip report (part 1)

Sunday, January 15th

Flew out at about 8pm. There were some logistical issues that the airline decided they couldn't solve until on the plane that delayed the departure (they sold too many tickets....apparently waiting until people are seated on the plane seemed like a good time to solve it). Finally we were off a bit late. Making the flight much more palatable was the TV on the back of the seat in front of me, where I was able to watch satellite TV for free.

After checking in at the Venetian, I immediately went down to the poker room for some 1/2 action. I ran A7 into AT into 77 on an AT87 board, but got away with losing the minimum. My KK found an ace high flop and resistance as well. I ended the session down $125 after 4 hours, and it felt like it could have been a lot more.

Monday, January 16th

Setup day for the booth, in the morning I was able to get some play in. I started at about 830am, opening up a new game. What an amazing bunch of nits. I did get the fortune of running AA into another players KK. Unfortunately, he was the only short stack at the table, with only about $100 in front of him. I pissed away some money late, and ended up $37 ahead for the 1 hour.

After a trip to In N Out burger for some lunch, I had some more time to play, so I sat down in the 2/5 game. Most of the 2/5 games I play have a max buy-in of $500, but at the V the max buy in is $1K. This game was one of the more aggressive I have played in, with a lot of 3 betting, and players were making large bets, far larger than I am used to in the 2/5 games around Detroit. Typically bets were 3/4 pot to exceeding the pot. I had to fold AK post flop after being 3 bet when OOP against a guy who looked a little nitty. Probably should have just mucked pre-flop. I basically allowed myself to get run over to the tune of a $240 loss in an hour.

After booth setup, we headed to Smith and Wollensky's for dinner. I had heard great things, and ordered the filet with a full lobster. The lobster was good, but the filet was slightly overcooked, and was suprisingly devoid of flavor. I actually used the steak sauce that was on the table, which was not desired. I would give the meal a 4 out of a 10, considering the cost.

After dinner I headed over to MGM with Ben to play some 1/2. The difference in caliber of player was remarkable. I don't remember any remarkable hands, but I totally ran over the table, turning a profit of $490 in a little over 3 hours. Some of my tweets from the session "The game is much easier when flopping sets! Gonna be tough to make big money at this table, but humming along right now." and "Killing it at MGM. Maybe it's the booze, maybe it's the run good mojo I've got going on, but this group is easy.".

Tuesday, January 17th

After a busy day at the show, we headed over to the Rio to catch the Seafood buffet for dinner. I went there with a plan, and that plan was to eat as many crab legs and gelato as possible, and to not allow any filler (prime rib, potatoes, etc...) into my system. I succeeded in my goal, making probably 6 trips in an hour. I also added some of their small lobster and sashimi in as well. Overall a great meal.

After dinner, went over to the 1/3 game at the Rio. The game was kind of nitty, and not very fun. I managed to turn it into a $200 loss with the following hand, among others. I raise PF to 12 with KK. See the flop heads up with a squirrelly young passive guy. Flop comes AdKx9d. He checks, I bet 17 and he calls. Turn is 7x. He checks, I bet 35 and he calls (slightly on the small side, I know). River is 8x. He leads out for 40 of his stack of 82. I don't really see too many JT's in his range here, so I shove for his last 42, and he calls, turning over JdTd.....yup, I guess that's the one JT that may have called two streets.

After leaving that boring game, I decided to play some 2/5 at the Venetian. I was intent on not getting run over this time around, which would prove to be my detriment. My 2nd hand I opened UTG+1 to 20 with QQ. UTG+2 called, and then UTG+3 re-raised to 80. Folds to me and I consider my options. Since it was my 2nd hand, I have no reads, except for UTG+2 looks likely to fold. The 3better was about 45-50 years old, quiet, and Asian. I decided to take the aggressive approach and 4bet to 190, and he called in position. If not done before the flop, I probably should be done with the hand at this point. I was actually kind of hoping for an Ace high flop, since I felt that KK was a huge part of his range. Instead, the flop came 632, and I shoved (he had 280 left and I covered), and he called with KK, and I missed on the turn and river.

Where was my patience??? Folding QQ absent any reads in this spot while OOP is kind of elementary, but I was so intent on not getting run over out of frustration that I let that get the better of me and pissed away almost $500.

Wednesday, January 18th

After another busy day at the show, we headed over to Paris to eat at Mon Ami Gabi, a very underrated French steakhouse. I had a delicious Filet o-Poivre, and the server even gave us all a free dessert after my boss had jokingly said that we had terrible service the last time we were there (not true to my recollection). For dessert I had the Creme Brulee, which along with the entree was delicious.

After eating, I decided to stop by the game at the Flamingo. I didn't have much cash on me, so bought in short for $160. As expected, the game was a bit of a nit fest, mixed in with bad players. The highlight of the time was when I made quad 2's in a pot of $14 to get a high hand bonus of $50. After about an hour or two, I cashed out ahead $100. Following that, we headed to the Mirage. Ben's flight was leaving at 6am, so he decided to not bother sleeping. Even though I had to be at the booth at 7:45am, I stayed up with him. At the Mirage, I started immediately getting hit by the deck.

The first big hand, I opened with 88 to 10, and got 2 callers. The flop came KJ8, and an aggressive fish check called my flop bet. The turn was another 8, and the fish led into me for about 1/2 of the pot. The river was inconsequential, and the fish shoved, which obviously I snapped and showed my quads. He "claimed" that I needed the 4th 8, which I don't buy for a second. That hand also got me my 2nd high hand bonus for the night, this one for $75. As they took my ID to process my bonus, the very next hand I called a raise in the BB with KcQc, and saw a flop of JcTc9x, flopping the nuts with a draw to a straight/royal flush. I actually played it passively, letting the fish bet the flop and turn, and I also checked the river, but unfortunately he checked behind. After that the fish rebought and moved immediately to my left.

A little while later I was rolling, up to about 900 in my stack (from my 300 buy-in). A few minutes before, a young pro who had been playing at TI earlier in the night sat directly to my right. He seemed to be a pro, as when he bought in he wrote it down in a planner, and had a rolodex full of players cards, and he also seemed to be grinding a $600 weekly bonus at the TI. On to the hand. Pro (stack of 280) opens UTG to 7, I 3bet to 22 with 99. Fish (stack of 225) cold calls immediately after me, which I dislike since his range is pretty wide, and I know it will invite the pro in with a wider range than he would normally play against me. The flop is 962 with 2 hearts. Pro checks, I elect to check as this seems like a very good spot to slowplay, and I also think there is almost a 50/50 chance the fish bets after I check. Unfortunately though, he checks. The turn is an offsuit 3, pro checks, I bet 35, fish immediately calls, and the pro immediately raises to 105. At this point there is only one hand that beats me, the 54, but I believe he has a lot more hands than just 54 possible. I think 66, 33, or 22 may play it the same exact way. I elect to shove, the fish folds and pro quickly calls, telling me he has the nuts. The river misses and I lose a monster pot.

Had I bet the flop for $35, if the fish called, I'd say there was a reasonable chance that the pro would have peeled with his gutshot as well, so I am trying not to be too upset with the result. But it was painful to have a great chance at being up $900+, but instead being up about $300. I managed to chip up for a few more minutes, and eventually walked away up about $375 at the Mirage, and nearly $500 for the night.

Next up: Thursday and Friday's action and some introspection

Foxwoods Trip Report

In early August I was on a trip to Rhode Island with my wife and daughter. While trying to figure out things to do, I noticed Foxwoods was only about 45 minutes away from where I was staying, so I made a point of it to try to make a trip there. I was able to find a chance on a Wednesday night, so I made the drive, leaving about 9pm or so. I didn't have the call ahead number and I didn't feel like researching it, so I knew I may have a wait on my hands.

The resort wasn't exactly how I envisioned it, as I expected it to be a sprawling resort cut out of the middle of the forest. In fact, I was slightly confused when I missed my turnoff and saw MGM Foxwoods, which I didn't even know existed. I aimed for the original Foxwoods, assuming the poker room would be there somewhere. After parking in the garage and entering the casino, I was able to find the poker room fairly easily due to the signs, and it was down an escalator at basically the ground floor or slightly below the ground (I think, I was a little disoriented from going up the garage, and then up and down escalators and elevators).

I entered the poker room and put my name on both the 1/2 and 2/5 lists (which was dangerous, as I had only about 650 with me). I was about 15th on the 2/5 list, and about 25th on the 1/2 list. The lists ran through semi-quickly, and after about 20 minutes I got called to the 1/2 game. You can buy-in for 300, and I bought in for the max. The table however, didn't have much money, and I covered everybody. There were several 100-150 stacks. The first hand had a bunch of limps, and I took it down with a raise pre-flop with something like ATx. I was immediately called for the 2/5 game, and after observing another limp happy, tightly played post flop hand, I decided to take the seat in the 2/5 game.

The 2/5 was in another area of the room, but the way they run things with multiple floor people, responsible for their own section, and walkie talkies makes it run fairly smoothly. This table had a lot of decent sized stacks, however, the table only had 4 players on it as everyone else had ran to piss/smoke/eat/etc....I treaded water for a while, winning a few pots, losing a few pots. There were what I consider 2-3 tough players, a few average players, and one clear mark. There was more than your average amount of 3 betting from a few players in particular, who I had position on.

The first hand I tangled in, I opened in EP to 20 with 9h6h (very loose, I know, but that tends to be my preflop game, and it helps classify me as a bit of maniac, without a big cost generally). I was called in 3 places, and the flop came down Td9d6d. One of the blinds checked to me, and I led 55 into 80, and wasn't quite sure what I was going to do the rest of the hand if I encountered resistance. The player after me, who I considered the clear mark, almost immediately shoved for 350, and the other players folded. That left me to call about 295, into a pot a little less than 500. This was a tough spot, as I stated earlier, I was underfunded for the game on this trip, and basically only had one bullet with me. Generally in this spot I try to get a physical read on my opponent, so I started staring at him. He was initially leaning back, and when he noticed me looking at him, he immediately leaned forward in his chair and struck a very strong posture. Everything I was picking up off of him said "strong means weak", so I started weighing his range more strongly to weak made hands like AT with no diamonds, and hands with a bare Ad. Made flushes, made straights, and sets comprised a much smaller part of his range. As I continued to look at him he began to look uncomfortable, so I announced call and slid the chips across the line. After I slid them I knew I was correct by his reaction, we kept the cards turned down, the turn was a 2x, and the river was a terrible 8d. He took a few seconds to roll over Ad6x, to scoop the pot. It turned out I was 56% on the call against his actual holdings.

That hand hurt, as it knocked me down to about 250. I continued to play but my heart really wasn't in it, and I dusted off another 100 or so before deciding to leave.

An interesting note which I wasn't prepared for. I ordered a bloody mary, and about 15 minutes later it arrived. What was surprising was that the drink was comped. I'm very accustomed to that in Vegas, but haven't run into it elsewhere.

An interesting hand occurred earlier in the night in which I was not involved. The bottom line is that on the turn the board was unpaired and king high, with 3 diamonds, the 3rd diamond hitting on the turn. A guy who someone said used to be a professional boxer who seemed like a solid player bet something like 80, and an Asian who looked like he lacked experience shoved for what amounted to 300 more. The boxer looked pained when this move was made. The pot was heads-up, so without saying anything, he turned his cards over, exposing a 9 high flush. The Asian guy, apparently thinking this constituted a fold, turned over his cards, showing a set of Kings. The boxer looked confused for a second, and then said call. The board ran out a blank, and the boxer shipped the pot. The Asian guy looked real confused, not realizing what had happened. Eventually the floor was called, and the Asian was made aware that in a heads-up pot, you can expose your cards. He left the table immediately. I felt bad for him for a multitude of reasons, but it definitely goes to show that you need to understand the rules of the cardroom you are playing in.

2011 Kentucky Derby Trip Report

Thursday, May 5th

Cinco de Mayo, also travel day for the Derby. Got on the road around 5 with Victoria and Doug. Picked up Mert in Cincinnati around 9ish, and got to see his new house. Guess that short sale worked out for him too. After that we took part in the final segment of the drive, arriving in Louisville around 11pm. We checked into the hotel, and conveniently we had 3 rooms all next to one another. After checking in to the hotel (Super 8 on Preston Hwy in Louisville) and getting settled, we made the annual trip to Trixies / Knockouts. This place has gone downhill every year we’ve been going, and this year was no exception, though I believe it has totally bottomed out. There was one other table occupied, and there was no music (or TV audio) playing. We began the festivities, drinking beer and shooting pool (of which I won 3 of 4 games, therefore I declare myself 2011 Derby Billiards Champion). I also recall a round of Jager shots being ordered. Paul’s contingent arrived around 1am, and the fun continued. At some point in the night Sonny and I went over to the “other” side of the bar, where the girls get naked and the drinking stops. After denying my free pass since it didn’t have the e-mail header on it, Sonny went back to grab another pass from someone in our group. During the time I waited for Sonny, I gave the manager behind the counter a little lip (an incredibly small amount relative to what I am capable of) and the dickhead came around the corner and got in my face. I just stared at him and then looked at other things on the wall, as he continued staring me down. At this point I saw something to the effect of “Save Our Strip Clubs” on the wall, but thought little of it.

Finally Sonny came back with a “valid” free pass, and they let us in. We found it odd that none of the girls were getting naked, and since there were like 5 people in there, we decided to go back with the group. Shortly after that, we headed over to Godfather, where there have been many fun incidents, including Doug being onstage as the biggest fucking loser at the Derby, and most of my bachelor party festivities (note no hyperlink). Again, the girls were wearing clothes, and the vibe seemed totally off. At that point a simple google search noted that the laws in Kentucky changed sometime in 2010, essentially eliminating any fun that can be had in a strip club. After a handful more beers, we left for the hotel, in preparation for Oaks Day.

Friday, May 6th

Woke up in time for first post on Oaks day, getting down to our normal parking spot around 10am. As we were pulling up to the house, and saw our usual hosts, Charlie and Phil, we yelled “Booyah!”, which has become our standard means of saying hello. At that point both Charlie and Phil broke into what is apparently a standard booyah pose, with both arms outstretched in some weird manner (see picture below). Note how everyone has their own little take on the booyah pose. After pounding a quick beer (for the hangovers), we left for the track.

Oaks day started off good, with me nailing a superfecta in the 2nd race (with Doug as a partial investor), but as the day got longer, our bet sizes increased, while our amount of returns decreased. By the end of the day, I was stuck about a nickel, and everyone else was stuck as well. The day as a whole was great though, the forecast had this being our best day, and it didn’t disappoint….partly to mostly sunny, high around 70, basically perfect.

After the track, we headed out to dinner, with the plan being to visit Roosters, which is the restaurant we went to last year with the bachelor party group. We ordered a lot of wings (maybe 100), and didn’t come near finishing them all. An awful lot of beer was consumed, and when it came time for credit card roulette, my good run was ended, as the waitress drew my card to pay the bill, which came out to around $175 (cheaper than I expected). As dinner had progressed, the table got louder and louder, and soon after paying our bill, we were asked to leave. Apparently they had complaints from some of their other patrons. In the end, Paul and I went to the bar area to finish our drinks and the manager and waitress invited us to sit back down, essentially saying Sonny was the reason for us getting the boot (as a side note, I have seen Sonny, and even myself on far worse behavior).

Following Roosters we headed back to the hotel, with undetermined plans. While handicapping the Derby a bit further, I passed out on the bed. Similar things appeared to happen in all rooms, as Doug ended up going downtown (allegedly) with a guy who was staying on our floor, apparently getting a ride in their limo. He ended up coming back by himself around 2am, nearly fighting with the cabbie over the return fare, while nearly getting into a race fight with him.

Saturday, May 7th

Derby day…we got to the track a bit later than planned, and grabbed basically the last 2 parking spots at Charlies. Paul’s contingent had arrived several hours earlier as they were sitting on the infield. On the way to the track, we had to unload 2 Derby tickets, with a $129 face value. We were hoping to get at least $65 each out of them, fully preparing to take a 50% loss. When we hit our first scalper, he was also asking for tickets, we showed him what we had, and he asked how much we wanted for them. I responded, “We’ll take $100 each for them.”, and he immediately peeled $200 from his roll and gave it to me. A guy who was himself looking for tickets said he would have paid a lot more of them. So while it felt good to rid ourselves of the tickets at a small loss, it still felt like we left some money on the table.

Derby day started out a bit like Oaks day finished, with me flushing money down the toilet. Around noon it started raining, so we decided to make the trip down to the infield to check out Paul’s setup, which was phenomenal compared to past infield setups of ours. Along with a tarp, they had a small canopy that allowed us all to stay dry during the brief rainy period. During this time it was a bit cold, as the temperature was around 60. Eventually as the weather improved we decided to head back to the grandstand, partially in order to stake our claim on our spot for the Derby itself. In the 8th race, Sonny opened up a 50 cent pick 4 ticket that would close out on the Derby, netting him over 6K (incidentally the ticket originally was for a $1 base bet, but due to the ticket costing $500 he refunded the ticket and did it for 50 cents. The 9th race came through for him and the pick 4 with Aikenite winning at something like 13-1. I continued to slowly bleed money. In the 10th race, the Woodford Reserve turf race, I concluded that I loved the #7 horse, Get Stormy, who was around 6-1 or 7-1, as I felt he would make an easy uncontested lead. The race played out just as I had imagined, as Get Stormy had enough left to hold on, and I caught the trifecta, which wasn’t a large windfall, but it did give me some more money to play with for the Derby.

Now, on to the Derby. In this post, I predicted Nehro 1st and Animal Kingdom 2nd, so I had Dave put in bets on my Twin Spires account, wheeling Animal Kingdom in 1st, 2nd and 3rd, around a bunch of horses. Since he was 20-1, there was no fear of the payout being poor. We finished constructing our super tickets throughout the early afternoon, and in the end we wheeled Nehro (Sonny and I both loved him) and Midnight Interlude (Sonny’s love, I liked him but not as much) in all 4 spots, surrounded by a bunch of horses, with the final investment being slightly North of $2400. Here is the workout for the Derby ticket.

I also placed a small win bet on Animal Kingdom for Victoria, and then threw in some other trifecta bets. The Derby started out as expected, with Shackleford making the lead in very easy fractions (I expected slow, but not as slow as they went). On the far turn, from our vantage point, we could tell the #19 (Nehro) was making a big move. As the horses passed us, I couldn’t tell who was on the extreme outside. After the finish, all I knew was that Nehro was in there, and that Shackleford finished 4th (all good things). We frantically started asking people who won, and many people said they thought it was the #19. Somebody else said the #16 (Animal Kingdom), which was thrilling to me since I loved him. Then somebody else said they thought it was both of them. The jumbotron was focused on the winner, but due to the odd saddlecloth color, and the fact that the saddlecloth was partially folded over, we still couldn’t tell who it was. Finally they put the winner on the board, the #16 horse. They still didn’t say who was 2nd-4th, though I knew about 4th. Finally after an agonizing minute or two, they put the final order of finish on the board, 16-19 (Nehro)-13 (Mucho Macho Man) – 14 (Shackleford). Once I figured out who the horses were, I knew we had it, and I knew I had the trifecta as well. Here is the winning ticket:

Sonny had run to a TV after the finish to see if he could see the order of finish, and when he returned, we began celebrating, believing this race would pay WAY more than the $29K we got back in 2008, on the Big Brown super. Needless to say, we were “disappointed” when it came back $24K on the $1 bet. My trifecta also got almost $1K on a 50 cent bet. In addition to that, Victoria had $5 to win on Animal Kingdom, as did Jen. Fortunately everyone in our group got a piece of the ticket (from as low as 2% shares), and everybody left the track at worst dead nuts even.

On the way back to the car, I ran ahead and threw Charlie $20 to buy 10 beers. We then proceeded with the traditional “Jimmie Johnson” beer showers. After that, we went to Outback Steakhouse for a celebratory dinner, which we “forced” Sonny to pay for, by virtue of his 40+% stake in our Superfecta ticket, along with his $1.50 cent trifecta, 50 cent pick 4, and $1 pick 3, all closing out on the Derby. Amazingly, we didn’t get kicked out, and had a very good meal. Following dinner we stopped at a party store and bought 30 tall Miller Lites, and proceeded to tailgate in the parking lot. We were eventually joined by the guys from Wisconsin, one of which Doug hung out with the night before.

Sunday, May 9th

Me, Doug, Sonny and Victoria went to Waffle House for the traditional Sunday breakfast, in which we had the slowest and worst server ever. Then we began the drive back, with me allowing Victoria and Sonny to do the driving as I wrestled with a hangover and alcohol induced upset stomach. The hills of Kentucky were rough, as I had to fight the urge to vomit multiple times.

Epilogue:

Overall though, a great trip, one of the best yet. We had a very large contingent. Hopefully I capture it all here, from Michigan it was Me (14th year), Sonny (14th or 15th year), Paul (16th year), Victoria (3rd year), Laura (3rd or 4th??), Doug (who knows, 7 years?), Austin and Beverly (1st timers), Dan and Jen (Dan 2nd time, Jen 1st), Sarah (1st timer), Brett and his 4 brothers (1st timers mostly, maybe 1 of them had been there before). We were also joined in spirit by Erik (had a last minute work conflict), and Dave (wife wouldn’t let him have his balls), and Doug had a few investors of his own in Steve and his Dad.

Nobody lost money, at least none in the immediate group involved in Superfecta. It was the first year in a long time that we didn’t visit the casino.

Other items of note that didn’t make the main blog:

The “Bad TV” didn’t get enough of a mention above, so I need to mention it again.
Charlie and Phil always arguing, and Sonny’s imitation during the post derby fun.

The “Gotcha Bitch” Osama t-shirts that were being aggressively sold outside the track.

The back stairwell carnage, that progressively got worse by late Saturday night, culminating in Paul hearing someone complain about it at the main hotel counter Sunday morning.

Brett mentioned seeing “Barenaked Ladies” performing a free concert on 4th street on Friday night, unfortunately we were all too wrecked to make it.

Another Brett: "While waiting at the limo, drinking beer with chuck and phil, they needed me to move the limo because they boxed in a dude from abc/Lexington for 3 hours...I didn't have the keys- or so I thought! After another 40 minutes, I realized I had the keys!"

More Brett: “The IRS girl looking at me funny when I vouched for my brother and he proceeded to bet $2 to show! Hilarious!”

Last Brett: “Hitting the Tri in 2010 and being part of a Super in 2011....super high 5 next year!”

IKEA trip report

I finally made the trip to IKEA in Canton this Sunday, after avoiding it for the several months that it has been opened. Something about going there just didn't seem very fun in my mind, after reading about people camping out for several nights just to be the first people to get into the store when it opened. My thinking is that anything with that much hype is bound to be incredibly disappointing.

I generally make a point to try to avoid the Ford Rd and I-275 area altogether, as it is a mess of overbuilding and congestion, and can take 10-15 minutes just to get through it if the traffic is bad. But Victoria wanted to go to look for pictures for Abby's bedroom, so the 3 of us got in the car and made the drive. Since it was 11am on a Sunday, I figured the area wouldn't be too horrible, but wasn't sure what to expect for the store itself.

If anyone doesn't know what IKEA is, they basically have everything, from kitchen and
bedroom stuff to full fledged furniture. Most of the furniture is less expensive, but requires assembly (why anyone would want to spend 8+ hours assembling a couch/futon to save $100 is beyond me).

As we arrived, my annoyance level increased with the idiocy that is the parking lot. We did find a spot without much effort about 1/2 mile from the entrance, which was fine considering the 25 degree temperature with matching wind. Upon entering the store, there is an area where parents can drop off their kids while they shop. I opted to keep Abby with me. As you enter you are immediately whisked upstairs. We got upstairs and then went right back down into a mess of people into the kitchen area. There was actually a lot of worthwile items. I picked up a kitchen knife set for $2.99 (!!!) and 6 wine glasses for the first time I decide to have people over to drink win for like $5.

The rest of the trip is a blur. The store forces you to trek through all of the items to get to the checkout. There are stregically placed shortcuts, which are damn near inaccessible if you have a cart (I did). We also had to make a trip to the bathroom for Abby, which led us completely across the store, and then all the way back to the beginning for an item that we missed. When all was said and done, I was hungry, tired, sore and annoyed.

After checking out, I had spent about $20, on the above mentioned items, as well as some pictures and frames for Abby's room, 2 toilet brushes, and a silverware tray. Afterwards I commented that it was amazing how little I had spent on those items, but I also commented that I would have rather spent twice that then have to deal with that mess.

Basically I strongly recommend the store if you can get there when there is nobody there or in the area. Since that is very unlikely to happen, I recommend avoiding it unless you enjoy dealing with massive throngs of people walking around aimlessly or standing in the middle of aisles.

PNC Park Trip report

Went to Pittsburgh to visit PNC Park for the first time, and to see the Tigers play the Pirates. The Tigers won the game 9-8, nearly blowing a 4-0 and a 9-2 lead.

Some observations/thoughts on the park (most of my comparisons will be relative to Comerica Park, which is my most logical frame of reference):

I like it much more than Comerica Park (built around the same time). PNC seems to have much more character. It includes several local eateries, etc....which is more than I can say for Comerica, unless you count Little Caesars. There is just more of a fun feel about it. Comerica has that feel now, but didn't when our record was similar to the Pirates record is now.

Everything seems cozier...it seems that we are closer to the action at PNC, though not much more. The downtown area where the park is pretty close to Heinz field. I didn't notice a lot of restaurants nearby to the park, though I only saw it from one side. Parking/access was pretty easy, though we were very early.

Tigers fans traveled well, as it seemed there were nearly as many of us there as Pirate fans. I'll give the Pirates fans credit though, they were very loud and excited getting back to within one run. Not bad support considering how bad they have been of late.

The bridges in the background (can be seen in the picture) are pretty cool to look at, and I think the downtown backdrop is better than the one at Comerica.

Overall a good time. I wish I could spend a summer traveling to different ballparks. Unfortunately to this point the only places I have been are Comerica Park, Tiger Stadium, Wrigley Field and Arlington Stadium (Texas old park).

Road trip

Taking a mini road trip with Victory and her family this Sunday to see the Tigers play the Pirates in Pittsburgh. I've heard that PNC Park is an awesome park. Can't wait.

Orlando Trip Report

Wednesday

Flight was supposed to leave at 7:45pm, out of the Northwest terminal. Got to the airport early, and decided to have a few drinks at a bar I don’t remember. We go to the gate to board at 7:15ish, and they say the plane is having a problem with the “Reverse thruster” and we will have to wait another hour before they decide what to do. This is worse than an hour delay, as this is an hour and then decide. I wondered what the significance of the reverse thruster was, as we were likely to be flying forward the entire way. Apparently it is a big problem as they determined we would be taking off from a different gate at 9:00pm. We went back to the bar and played two small games of poker. Since none of us had chips, sugar packets had to suffice. Out of the 2 games we played, I won 1 and finished 2nd out of the 3 of us in the other. Profit of $5!!!

On the flight I sat in the middle, it was miserable trying to get my armrest position comfortable, and was a very long 2.5 hours. After waiting to get our bags, and car, we finally got out of the airport. By the time we checked into our condo, it was 1:30am. Too late to go to the bar. Fortunately we picked up beer and played some poker with far more important stakes. With a 3 bedroom condo and 4 of us, 2 people would have to share a room. Since Jim wasn’t coming in til Thursday, he lost by default. The winner would get the big bedroom with a double bed, it’s own bathroom and a TV. We dispatched Greg and Dan and I went headsup. I managed to survive him hitting trips on me twice, and I caught him on a bad bluff when I had trips, and managed to win around 4am. (Golf tees were used for chips) It was time for bed and a 9am tee time.

Thursday

Damn that alarm went off quick. Pretty warm day, 70-75ish, but overcast. The finger I hurt in flag football was somewhat painful, but didn’t affect my game. I played god awful and shot 89. Greg birdied the first hole but that was among his lone highlights. Dan struggled mightily if I remember. The course was Forest Lake (I believe). Tale of two different 9’s…front 9 was links style, back 9 was cut out of the forest. I putted absolutely horrendous (a recurring theme throughout the trip).

After golf we played some tennis. First I played Greg, and since it was only my second time playing this year (and in the last 4 years for that matter) it started ugly, as I went down 2-0. I came back and won that set 6-2. Then I played Dan and waxed him 6-0. After Dan and Greg played, me and Dan played again, and it was a game of runs, I was down 1-0, up 4-1, down 5-4, then won 7-5. At that point we were pretty exhausted and decided to take a nap. I couldn’t really sleep as I was enthralled in “Titanic”, so I was tired when we got ready to go eat and drink.

Dinner was at Longhorn Steakhouse. Got a tasty filet and then it was off to the festivities. We went to Rachel’s, a strip club / bar near the airport. We went there 2 years ago but I didn’t remember much of it. Apparently Orlando is notorius for having terrible titty bars though. The girls were very attractive, but the law requires them to cover their nipples, so they wear tan round band aids over them. How I failed to notice this 2 years ago is beyond me. Other than the band aids their boobs just hang out like any other titty bar. So what is the point of the band aid???? Must be conservative bible thumping law making at it’s finest. Jim got in and we picked him up at the airport and it was back to the titty bar. Stayed til close to 2am, then went back to the condo. Also watched the basketball…amazing comeback by UCLA against Gonzaga.

Friday

Damn that alarm went off quick for another 9am tee time. It was incredibly windy, and a little cooler, probably only 65 or so. Played Stoneybrook, in the middle of a housing development. My putting was again dismal, as was the rest of my game, and I struggled to an 85. I did get my first birdie of the trip, rolling in a long putt on a par 3. Everyone else struggled again on the course, could have been the booze, etc…. On the 2nd hole Jim couldn’t find his sand wedge. He started blaming Northwest, etc….it turns out the group behind us found it on the first tee. I remembered after the fact him chipping around the tee with it while we were waiting, and I even commented on him “chili-dipping” a chip. He had no recollection of this.

After golf, went back and played some doubles. It was me and Jim against Dan and Greg. Jim and I won in 2 pretty close sets, and it was quite a few laughs.

After attempting a short nap, it was off to eat. We all craved seafood, so we first went to Joe’s Crab Shack, longer than an hour wait…next we went to Captain Nemo’s all you can eat buffet, smelled shady and had quite a wait, so we tried a place called Boston Lobster Feast, for a seafood buffet. As far as seafood, I only eat Crab legs, and occasionally lobster, so that’s what I focused on. For $32 you can be sure I was going to get my money’s worth. The food was ok, but a little nauseating having to clean the lobster yourself…fortunately the waitress did mine. After what seemed like a dozen trips to the buffet, we were finally full (and they were shutting down the buffet). After that we went to Universal Studios City Walk, a big group of bars/clubs/etc….first stop was Pat O’Briens…by this point Greg and I were both having major intestinal issues, and in a race to the bathroom he beat me to the only stall. Waiting for him I nearly sharted myself, and finally was able to relieve the pressure. While at the bar, all 4 of us had to visit the restroom multiple times. Needless to say, Boston Lobster Feast would not be a repeat destination. Watched the end of the basketball at Pat O’Briens and in the courtyard, then went to dance club that was a sausage fest, then went to a Cigar/Martini bar, and bought some cigars for the course and home. Following that it was to Margaritaville to close out the night. Pretty good times aside from the crappy seafood.

Saturday

Again the alarm came fast for our 9am tee time. It was chilly and windy, and I was the only one in the group smart enough to wear pants. The course was the worst and easiest of the bunch, I shot 79, with 1 birdie. Everybody played better, but I think it had a lot to do with the course. I did 3 putt a par 5 I hit in 2, and then 4 putt a par 3 that I hit in regulation….all on back to back holes. Jim lost his camera on the course, although based on his incident yesterday, we weren’t sure whether to believe him or not. It still hasn’t turned up, and somebody at the course likely gained a camera. I think Jim is losing his mind, or early Alzheimers is setting in.

After that we went on a snipe hunt trying to find a Sonic Burger joint, or any other place that we can’t get at home (as I generally do with Jack in the Box any time I go out west). The trip was fruitless, so we went to Steak and Shake. Went back to the condo and took a nap through the Texas/Louisville game. For dinner we played it safe and hit Hooters. After Hooters we went to the Boardwalk (lame) where we were accosted by girls on a Bachelorette party. Jim got conned into giving the chick a $1 to suck some beads on her neck. Unfortunately for us, it was all he could talk/think about the rest of the night. We went to House of Blues next at Pleasure Island, and listened to a blues band headed by a 15 year old kid. Incredible guitarist, and pretty good voice too. He tried to sing/portray body language with a little too much soul, but in time he’ll learn substance over style. I was a mess that night as I was dead tired, so I just kinda sat there and watched.

Sunday

Last day of our trip, we moved our tee time back to 11:40, giving us a few more hours of sleep. Packed our stuff in the car and left early for breakfast. I had been craving Waffle House, but they were packed….2 Waffle Houses and 1 IHOP later, we were eating Shoney’s….a real downer to Waffle House.

The course was Shingle Creek, on a resort and conference center which hadn’t opened yet. Very nice course and area. I played terrible, and lost interest on quite a few holes, shooting 89 with 2 birdies. But they did have some pretty good Bloody Mary’s.

For the trip my putting was awful, and the rest of my game wasn’t much better. It was my worst stretch of golf in years, bar none.

After the golf, we got to the airport, ran into Chris Collinsworth, but didn’t get a picture, just said hello. We were welcomed to the airport with a 1.5 hour delay…..perfect, just what I wanted, to get in at 1:30am and have to work at 8am. Jim decided to get a Fantasy baseball magazine, and proceeded to buy a Sports Illustrated. He started reading it and exclaimed “Why is everything in Spanish???” It turns out he bought an SI Latino. The flight was pleasant though, as we got an exit row. I sat in the aisle and had the seat in the middle empty, so I sprawled.

As a wonderful side note to the weekend, I left my car in the street at Dan’s house, and his paper delivery woman backed into it, scratching the back bumper and misshaping it slightly. You know how those Envoy’s like to hide in a blind spot.

Walmart Trip report part deux

Last night I was playing tennis with Mert and 10pm. At 9:30 I was on my way to the Livonia Y. The only convenient places to buy tennis balls was Walmart or Meijer. Since Walmart is a little more convenient to 96, I decided to roll the dice once again. What followed was the Walmart I’ve grown to know and love.

Got in there, and guided by intuition I found the sporting goods (mind you, I was not guided by any signs). Got the balls I needed and I was up and running. Apparently the store closes at 10pm, and in order to get a headstart on their night operations, there were large cardboard boxes of stock on the floor of nearly every aisle. Cute.

Got to the checkout and this is where the fun begins. I have two cans of tennis balls, so I’m looking for a quick checkout. Of the 2 aisles open (aisles 8 and 22 for those keeping track, on opposite sides of the checkout area), aisle 22 is the “speedy” checkout. Both lines are long. I am the 8th person in line. Apparently they have not heard of the self checkout…although I have a hunch that given the clientele as well as the staff, this would be a huge bottleneck. Anyways, as the line is SLOWLY moving forward, I notice the woman in front of me had a damn near full cart. I try to draw attention to this by looking at the cart, looking at the sign, looking back at the cart and laughing, but she is oblivious. I am hesitant to say anything to her, for fear of her (A) popping a cap in my ass, or (B) sitting on me.

The “Speedy” checkout has a clearly marked sign saying “10 items or less”. I attempt to count as she is unloading onto the conveyor that will only comfortably hold 2 items. I get to 28, with a tolerance of +5/-2 items. The cashier says, “You have more than 12 items.”, apparently completely inventing the 12 item rule, and the woman (you can imagine what she looks like) says something about them only having 2 aisles open, which apparently allows you to skirt any limits that said Walmart imposes.

This experience was a flat 1 on a scale of 1-10, they could have been giving the tennis balls away and it wouldn’t have been worth the aggravation.

On a tennis note, despite not playing in 4-5 years, having a raquet with less tension then desired, and having a grip crumble in my hands (apparently raquet grips tend to degrade when in the basement for years), I easily handled Mert 6-0, and was up 3-1 in the 2nd set when the Y closed.

Quizno's Prime Rib sandwich report

Quizno’s has been heavily advertising their new Prime Rib sandwich, so I decided since I am a regular there, I would give it a shot.

The Sandwich:
It has a generous helping of sliced Prime Rib, peppercorn sauce, mozzarella cheese, and onions (of which I didn’t get). The price is $1.50 more expensive than most subs on the menu. It comes with white bread as the default selection.

Sandwich presentation:
I will hold off and not grade this portion. The bread was kind of soggy, and the cheese was not very evenly distributed. However, it is well known that at the Ann Arbor Quizno’s I frequent that the particular person who made my sandwich is the worst sandwich preparer I have ever dealt with. Meat, cheese and lettuce regularly hang off of the bread, and dressing is unevenly distributed. She basically takes no pride in the artistry of sandwich presentation. She is the younger, large woman for anyone who has visited that location.

Unlike Arby’s though, the commercials are indicative of the amount of meat you will get.

Taste:
Overall pretty good, as stated above, the poor presentation likely did not allow this sandwich justice. The peppercorn sauce is not as zesty as I anticipated, though reasonably tasty. I would recommend getting this sandwich with extra cheese (as you can never have too much). I will be giving this sub another chance, but at this point it is not good enough to take over for the usual Mesquite Chicken, and I would even rank it below the Chicken Carbonara.

Johnny Carino's trip report

Background:
My parents got me a gift card for my birthday to Johnny Carino’s. Victory and I went on Saturday night around 7pm to the one right next to Westland mall. Apparently they are a chain, but I have never been to one.

Seating:
We were immediately seated, which was impressive, given the business of that area. Perhaps that area has finally built enough restaurants to satisfy the overwhelming demand. The restaurant ambience reminded me of a Papa Vinos/Macaroni Grill, with a very open kitchen adjacent to the seating area.

Bread:
Some of the best bread I’ve had at an Italian restaurant in a while. They do the whole oil on plate thing for butter. I’m not sure how I feel about it, but it’s a nice change of pace. The two of us finished the roll, and decided it was best to not ask for more.

Salad:
Both of us got a Caesar salad. We swapped because I tend to like more dressing, but this thing was damn near inedible, as it was literally coated in Caesar. I asked the waitress about it and she said she didn’t know why they were putting so much today, so it wasn’t typical. She offered more, but I was quite happy waiting for my entrée.

Entrée’s:
I got Chicken Alfredo, while she got the special, which included Lasagna, Chicken Parm and Spaghetti. The Alfredo was very good, with the chicken cut into very small strips, which is different than what I am used to. The serving size was gigantic to me, and I could barely eat half of it. The lasagna was very cheesy and good. The chicken parm had a zesty breading on it which was pretty tasty as well. The spaghetti was average. Again the serving size was enormous.

Service:
Young girl who was pretty good. Food came out in good time, drinks stayed full, etc…basically what you ask for in service. She also took much of my good natured ribbing very well (salad comment among others). Victory seemed to like her too so I tipped her over $6 on our $29 bill.

Ratings:
Seating: 9
Bread: 8.5
Salad: 3
Entrée: 7.5
Service: 8.5

Overall rating: 7.5 (a solid 7.5 though, the overall rating can never be better than the entrée, and while the salad is a minor hiccup, docking significant points due to a salad is queer)

Del Taco Trip report

Background:
I was hungry and didn’t feel like cooking. I could throw a pigskin to the Taco Bell by my house, but I decided to make the drive to Del Taco (3 miles). Contrary to my Walmart experience, this required bringing the Ford Road traffic into play.

Parking/Entrance:
Bad idea from the start, traffic was miserable, and I thought about turning around several times. But I stuck it out. Finally I made the turnaround past Ford Road, and was in the second to the right lane. But traffic was so heavy and people were driving like such assholes, I was forced to overshoot the entrance by a 100+ yards. I was able to cut through parking lots and make it in relative short order.

Shopping/Drive thru experience:
The drive thru people are always very pleasant and have yet to mess up my order. I ordered a combo meal, which included 3 tacos and a cheddar quesadilla (plain, I know, not living up to my Mexican heritage).

Eating experience:
Cheddar quesadillas are usually an 8, but this time it was about a 4-5. The amount of cheese on it has decreased each time I have been in there, and yesterday it was reminiscent of a Taco Bell quesadilla, which is garbage. The tacos as usual included real shredded cheese, unlike T-Bell, however, the presentation was lacking as the cheese was not very lovingly distributed throughout the taco. Once the cheese melted, this created the undesirable consequence of some of the taco being a cheese bounty and the rest being cheeseless.

The taco sauce comes in Hot and Mild, actually the hot as a different title that eludes me at the moment. Unfortunately, the hot is in a black package, and the mild in a red package, which is the opposite of what my intuition tells me is correct. Therefore, the first two tacos I ate were with mild sauce until I noticed the error in my ways.

Side note:
I have been to Del Taco 3-4 times in the past month, and it has grown on me everytime. This experience was well below par on most levels. I have changed my perspective on the place to recommending going there, at least for comparison sake. Also keep in mind that on the Fast Food rating scale, all things are compared to Jack in the Box, which I know is an unfair comparison. The number in the paranthesis is the rating I would give based on the work of the past month.

Overall ratings:
Parking/Entrance: 3 (5.5)
Shopping/Drive thru experience: 7.5 (8)
Eating Experience: 5 (7)
Intangibles: 6 (6)
Overall Rating: 5.5 (7)

Walmart Trip report

Background:
Yesterday I decided to pick up some new headphones (for my MP3 player) as my last ones had broken, and get a combination lock with the intention of getting rid of all excuses to not go to the gym. On the way home, Target (my intended destination) was not desirable due to traffic. I got off at Middlebelt with the intention of going to Target, but saw Walmart and decided to roll the dice. I tried not to let my expectations get in the way of honestly evaluating my shopping experience.

Parking/Entrance:
Very crowded, and I had to park pretty far back. Not a big deal as the weather was unseasonably warm, and there were actually cars in every spot, as opposed to randomly strewn shopping carts. Entering the store became the first real adventure. There was somebody about 5-10 yards in front of me, and they went through the automatic door. I proceeded to follow and the automatic door nearly closed on me. It literally got within inches of me, causing me to make a retarded jump backwards in order to avoid it. This must have looked rather silly to an observer as it looked like I had never seen an automatic door. This got my experience off to a poor start.

Shopping experience:
The store is dark (poorly lit), messy, and the signs are not very clear to tell you that you are in the right department. I expected the locks would be difficult to find, and they would have been if I hadn’t been lucky and guided by the force yesterday. I found exactly what I was looking for in a reasonable time. On to the headphones, found what I wanted, again pretty cheap, grabbed it off the shelf and it was already open….oops. Fortunately they had one more that was already sealed. I also made an impulse buy of a $5.00 hand AM/FM radio, to listen to at the Kentucky Derby, and the few times where I actually go to Sporting Events (if I so choose to listen). I suspect that if you were looking to purchase any items over $10, this is not the store to go to. If I were looking for any sales assistance I would have struck out like Labelle at a bar not named Kickers, as I never saw an employee in the sales aisles.

It should be noted that the experience would have been more pleasurable had an annoying black woman’s voice not been playing over the PA telling employees to move anything that didn’t belong in their area (of which there was a lot of) to the front of the store for organization.

Checkout experience:
Not very many lanes open, and they had some long lines. I found one at the far end titled “Speedy Checkout”, where I was 3rd in line. It was far from speedy, the scanner wouldn’t work to scan the 1st person’s prescription. Then the 2nd person required a price check on their Selsun Blue. By this point I was fed up with being there, and just paid cash, even though I intended to pay with my credit card.

Side note:
Near the corner of the store, they have a Subway. The décor is a very nice brick, well lit, looks like it belongs in Ford Field, and not a ghetto Walmart. No report on the dining at said Subway.

Overall ratings:
Parking/Entrance: 3.5
Shopping Experience: 6
Checkout Experience: 3
Intangibles: 2
Overall Rating: 4 (I expected a 1)